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Messages - akiheman

Pages: [1] 2
1
This is how I think about this topic:

The Trololololo Cat
that was gold lol

2
Humor / Re: worlds funniest jokes XD
« on: June 12, 2010, 07:54:54 pm »
womans with big cocks??? thats INSANE  =D
here another joke
One day a robber was going to rob a young mans house
Once he reached there He asked the young man "If you want to live bring me the wardrobe's ( with money)key!"
Then the Young man said " ok ill give you but before you do it give me a 50 dollars"
then the robber said "Are you tricking me fool!im gonna kill you !"
Then young man said "no i didnt trick you. i asked the money to buy a wardrobe.how can i give you the wardrobes key without having one??"
 =D WOWAI   :afro:

3
Humor / Re: worlds funniest jokes XD
« on: June 12, 2010, 07:10:02 am »
someone got screwed badly  =D
anyway heres a joke list
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

Runner Up:

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

Another Runner Up:

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."

Still Another Runner Up:

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

One More Runner Up:

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"

And Still Another Runner Up:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Amazing - Another Runner Up:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

Last Runner Up:

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"
skim dim da dum da dim da di dum da dim *makes his first fingers (thumb and second)a gun like and points it to Sniffs*Scatmans World!

5
Humor / Re: Super Mario World is Scary
« on: June 03, 2010, 03:23:29 am »
i know why he is scared of Super mario World
HE SUCKS  =D =D =D

7
actually this server sucks
its not that im saying that with anger
its that i felt that this server would fail on the first day of my playing in World Of Stunting :unsure:

8
Humor / Re: worlds funniest jokes XD
« on: May 30, 2010, 10:01:15 pm »
what do you do with a dog that cant walk?
take it for a drag! =D

9
do you know which forums i posttd this??? :lol:
Its just a humourous joke

10
Humor / worlds funniest jokes XD
« on: May 30, 2010, 03:13:25 am »
How do hedgehogs make love?
Very carefully.

What did the Policeman say to the stomach?
You're under a vest

Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?
They have two left feet.

What wobbles and flies?
A Jelly-copter.

What goes ha ha ha clonk?
A man laughing his head off.


What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A sour puss!

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.


Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.


What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate!


What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.


What do you give a man who has everything?
Antibiotics.


What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

What's brown, steams and comes out of Cowes?
The Isle of Wight ferry.

What do you call a man that plays with leaves?
Russle!


What is the definition of an American Bra?
One yank and it's off.

What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with. (fungi)

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

Who was England's first chiropodist?
William the Corncurer.

Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews.

What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and
the last letters.


On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside.


What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.

Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?
It blew away.

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.

Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?
One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying
blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.

What's red and white and black all over?
Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney.

Where do Snow-women like to dance?
At Snowballs.


What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her
photographs?
Someday my prints will come. (prince)


What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a
chimney?
Claustrophobia!


What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!


Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!


What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!

What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
You!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the
brandy cream for that!

What time is it when you see a Chinese dentist?

Tooth-hurty. (Two thirty)

How do hedgehogs make love?
Very carefully.

What did the Policeman say to the stomach?
You're under a vest

Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?
They have two left feet.

What wobbles and flies?
A Jelly-copter.

What goes ha ha ha clonk?
A man laughing his head off.


What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A sour puss!

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.


Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.


What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate!


What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.


What do you give a man who has everything?
Antibiotics.


What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

What's brown, steams and comes out of Cowes?
The Isle of Wight ferry.

What do you call a man that plays with leaves?
Russle!


What is the definition of an American Bra?
One yank and it's off.

What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with. (fungi)

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

Who was England's first chiropodist?
William the Corncurer.

Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews.

What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and
the last letters.


On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
The outside.


What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.

Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?
It blew away.

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.

Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?
One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying
blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.

What's red and white and black all over?
Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney.

Where do Snow-women like to dance?
At Snowballs.


What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her
photographs?
Someday my prints will come. (prince)


What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a
chimney?
Claustrophobia!


What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!


Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!


What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!

What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
You!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the
brandy cream for that!

What time is it when you see a Chinese dentist?

Tooth-hurty. (Two thirty)

 =D =D =D

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