May 04, 2024, 02:49:42 pm

Author Topic: My Story (preview)  (Read 191 times)

Offline ZealousR

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My Story (preview)
« on: June 13, 2010, 02:56:25 pm »
Well i liked how snuffs had her story and i honestly didn't know we had another writer on WoS so i just wanted to share a preview of MY story that I've already been working on. unlike "cj-his story" this isn't a video :(

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE WHOLE THING HERE IS A PREVIEW.
                                                                                                                                                                       
(PREVIEW)

A boy awakens to his school only to see it is a place filled with monsters and death all around. he gets chased by an unimaginable beast and narrowly  escapes by being saved by his friend. but as he is taken back to base he is inspected for infections by a professor only to be injected with an unknown serum and put into a cell. while in the cell his life is held hostage by an unknown hooded man. he saves himself by pledging his loyalty. but all the while not knowing that his soul has been tainted by darkness. The man tells gives him orders and tells him to gain control, even if it means killing his friends.

Can the boy find the answers of his whereabouts while being controlled by a hooded man. can he save his friends from the orders given at the consequence of his life? Can he learn to control the darkness within himself or lose himself to it?
                                                                                                                                                                         

- Beginning (small taste) - 

A boy has awakens in a building in a school desk. he doesn't remember a thing except that his teacher sent him to another room, and he fell asleep...he looks around and sees the building is decrepit and worn over as if there for hundreds of years, there is rubble and debris on the floor and the classroom is a abandoned except for a gaping hole in the wall.

The boy gets up and walks toward the hole, he looks out left and right and sees the abandoned hallway also covered with debris, and vines and moss growing. he walks in the hallway hoping something will give him answers to where he is. after moments of silence and walking he hears an animal growling and chewing on something like meat.

He instinctively stops any movement and sees another hole in the wall about 20 feet from on the left-hand side.
He hugs the wall and moves closer to investigate he looks around the corner and sees what looks like a beast from hell. it raises it's head as if sensing prey and sniffs the air. it gets distracted by it's meal and goes back to eating, the boy looks closer and sees a backpack next to the meal of the beast..

surprised he hides his head back behind the wall and recognizes at his feet is a small but very deep fissure. he tries to stretch his leg over but it is a few inches too long. he moves back a few feet and tries to have a small running step to jump he runs and jumps over he tries to spot if the beast saw him jumping and he sees it turn it's head to it's side but not fully around. he lands on the other side sliding.

He quietly and gets up and as he's brushing the sand off of him and it wasn't too long before he hears a booming sound behind him. It didn't take a second thought to know to run. sprinting as fast as he can, he runs hearing the beast breathing hungrily behind him. he looks back and sees the beast, it is the size of a moving truck and growling as if killing was it's pleasure.

he keeps about 15 feet in front of the beast looking left and right of ways to escape. his vision begins to get fuzzy from his fatigue from the chase. he doesn't keep his sight on the floor and trips over a piece of rubble.
he falls to the floor and looks back at the beast roaring with it's jaws wider than belief he sits there in disbelief of the current events as the beast rushes at him drooling with his death written all over it's fangs..

                                                                                                                                                                     

Well i know the first thing thats going to be said is "is everybody making story posts here?" or something like that but no i just wanted to see who would like this kind of story. yeah i know it has a "dark" feel to it but meh.

i've already made 40 pages of this story and started on it on my first school semester so im not copying..im just saying...


Offline alpha500delta

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Re: My Story (preview)
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2010, 10:30:11 am »
Well uhm, looks very good :).

Keep it up...
rainbow

HELLO, dear visitor of my signature...

Offline Sniffilicious

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Re: My Story (preview)
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2010, 02:43:38 pm »
All you need is speach,
In my opinion, a story isn't a story with out speach :]

Offline ZealousR

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Re: My Story (preview)
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2010, 03:13:49 pm »
lol t's got alot of speech but this was just a preview.

if i get more request for another small(er) piece of my story then i will make sure it has dialogue