God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to go to heaven. The man says '' he will try ''. A week later God visits the man to see how he is getting on.  ''Not bad'' replies the man, ''I've given up smoking and drinking but when my wife bent over the freezer i had to fuck her up the arse''.
''They dont like that in heaven'', says God. The man says, ''They're not too happy about it in Tesco's either!''