One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The Chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The Chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
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One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
She said "I saw a man's private part." He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.
The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
"I touched a man's private parts." He told her to wash her hands in holy water.
Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting.
The fourth nun said, "I'm not going to wash my mouth in the holy water if she is going to sit in it."
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with watermelons."
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There were these three mexicans who couldnt speak english, they moved to america one day,,then one day they all learned one english word because they wanted to kno how to say something tht they had to kno so,,the first guy learned the words "yes",,the second guy learned"forks and knives",,the third guy learned how to say "goodie,goodie",,that was all they knew so one day they drove past a police station and saw that there was a murder that was commmited,,they went up to a police officer,,
Police man:Hey, did you guys kill this man?
1st guy:uhh.."Yes,yes!"
Police Officer:What did you kill him with?
2nd guy:"Forks and knives, Forks and knives!"
Police man:>:l That's it you guys are going to jail!
3rd guy:"Goodie, Goodie!" (:
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Which is funniest??